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Having problems when it comes to waking up in the morning? It is our great wicked pleasure to present this creative alarm clock that will surely solve whatever “oversleeping issues” you may have. The design of the money shredding alarm clock is definitely for the strong-hearted, for the rich of for the desperate. Funny and clever, this device will make sure you get to work on time, even if it means compromising the earnings you are about to make that day. If for some money is not a problem, the machine can also shred other important papers, such as holiday airplane tickets, homeworks, “to do” lists and so on. But keep an eye out … willfully destroying U.S. currency is considered a federal crime and is punishable by law: “Whoever mutilates, cuts, disfigures, perforates, unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association [...] shall be fined not more than $100 or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.” Witty though! So… what would you shred for the sake of waking up in the morning?
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that’s as stupid as the alarms that make you solve math problems before you can turn them off… why don’t i just go out, buy the damn thing, walk over to the window and throw it out and get it over with?
kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…….wake up, man!!!!!!! time is money…
Rather than shred money, someone should hook this up to the web and have it donate to your least favourite political party. That’ll really get the blood going, me thinks.
(Inspiration from Zelda Gamson and @wnycradiolab. Zelda promised to donate to the KKK if she couldn’t stop smoking and she hasn’t smoked since).
Just have kids….. never sleep again!
Willfully altering or destroying us currency *then trying to use it as currency* is illegal. The text that falls in your ellipses is important.
You can destroy money all you want, so long as you don’t then try to use it as money.
I’d be broke in no time if I had this wake me up